ROSE NAMES OTHER AUTHORS’ CHARACTERS FOR THEM

It’s always annoyed me when authors write books with unnamed characters. Sure, we don’t need to know the name of the man on the bus or the woman in the dairy, but we do need to know the name of the protagonist and other key characters. Would Anna Karenina be so successful if she (and the book) were called Unnamed Russian Woman? I think not. So, I’ve started this blog devoted to naming other authors’ characters for them.

You might disagree with my choices, but at least I’ve made some. Carry on enjoying your confusing books and movies with their cast of anonymous people if you like, but, personally, I relate better to characters when they have a name.

I’m going to start with FLEABAG. Yes, I know it’s a TV show, not a book. It’s also wonderful. In fact, it only has one flaw. Most of the characters don’t have names. I’m about to fix that.

Protagonist (played by Phoebe Waller-Bridge): Beatrice Fleabag

Sexy Priest (Andrew Scott): Chad Dangerfield

Godmother (Olivia Colman): Matrigna (If you google “Fleabag Cast”, this is what comes up, weirdly, so I’ve stuck with it.)

Dad (Bill Patterson): George Fleabag

Bank Manager (Hugh Dennis): Dennis Hugh (The actor is asking for it.)

A$$h0|3 guy (Ben Aldridge): Hugo Ryder

Stay tuned for more.